New Year, New Boundaries: Protecting Yourself While Supporting a Problem Gambler

The idea of making New Year’s resolutions goes back more than 4,000 years to the ancient Babylonians. During a 12‑day festival called Akitu, which marked their new year in mid‑March, they pledged to their gods that they would repay debts and return borrowed goods. Keeping these promises was believed to bring favor; breaking them risked divine disapproval. The Romans later carried the tradition forward, and when Julius Caesar established January 1st as the start of the year in 46 B.C.E., the practice shifted to match the new calendar. It soon became tied to Janus –the two‑faced god who symbolically looked back at the past and ahead to the future. [1]

Today, New Year’s resolutions are a global tradition – a mix of self-improvement, reflection, and optimism. Common themes include health, finances, relationships, and personal growth. When making the resolutions, many truly believe they will stick to the promise they have made to themselves or others – but behavior or character changes are easier said than done.

When it comes to avoiding behaviors that have become addictive, it’s nearly impossible to succeed without support. For spouses or loved ones of someone struggling with problem gambling or drinking, it can be difficult to understand how completely these addictions can take over, even when they’re causing chaos. No one can force another person to stop something they aren’t ready to stop. The pull of addiction can be so strong that change often feels impossible – but it begins with small steps. The first steps are reaching out for help, finding support, and seeking education about the fight ahead.

To help you take those first small steps when it comes to a gambling problem, the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine offers immediate access to support, information, education, and tailored resource referrals for loved ones. Even if the gambler is not ready to receive help or even admit to a problem, spouses and loved ones can seek help on their own. There is a lot to learn when facing the impacts of gambling addiction as a loved one, such as communication skills, assertiveness, setting boundaries, and putting financial safeguards in place. By calling or texting the 24/7 HelpLine, you can connect with online or local support groups, professional counselors who specialize in gambling-related issues, FCCG’s A Chance for Change Workbooks, FCCG’s Peer Connect Program, and so much more.

I believe in the ability to make my own life. There is nothing I cannot do.

You’re entitled to a set of fundamental personal rights simply by being human. Practicing assertiveness means recognizing that your needs and boundaries matter just as much as anyone else’s. How does it make you feel to read the following basic rights?

• I have the right to ask for what I want.
• I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
• I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
• I have the right to my own values and standards.
• I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behaviors, actions, feelings, or problems.
• I have the right to be angry at someone I love – and tell them I am – without repercussions.
• I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
• I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
• I have the right to change and grow.
• I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

Has a loved one’s gambling challenged any of these? If so, call or text 888-ADMIT-IT today to reach a Specialist who can help you explore the impacts of problem gambling and the resources available to you.

When you begin practicing assertive behaviors – even if they feel uncomfortable at first – you’ll start to notice gradual changes within yourself. This is how healthy boundaries begin to form. With addiction, the saying “if nothing changes, nothing changes” holds true. The familiar dance that takes place in an addictive relationship can’t continue once one person starts changing their steps.

References:

[1] Boeckmann, Catherine. “How Did the Tradition of New Year’s Resolutions Start?” ALMANAC, 17 Dec. 2025, www.almanac.com/history-of-new-years-resolutions.