Setting Boundaries for a More Secure Way of Life

Setting boundaries can be difficult for many people, whether they are involved with someone who has a gambling problem or not. Most of us may be lucky enough not to have to find out what our limits are and in turn, put up boundaries. In this blog, we will help you define your boundaries as it relates to a loved one’s gambling and give you support when it is time to set up those boundaries, including how to approach the topic.

Many times, when it becomes perfectly clear and you accept there is a gambling problem with a loved one, you have probably already thought about what your line is. You may have crossed your line many times already thinking you were helping the problem gambler. You may think it is the right thing to do to step in and take control of everything. Everything with finances, calling the boss if they are not showing up to work, lying to others to cover for the gambler, taking care of all the chores in the house. All the while walking on eggshells, because you don’t want the gambler to have a reason to get mad, go gamble, and blame you. How much is too much for you? How many lies are too many for you? How much money lost to gambling is too much for you? These are the questions you must ask yourself.

After many relapses and lies, a loved one of a problem gambler may be tempted to walk away. Have you spoken with someone who understands how disordered gambling can affect you and the resources available that can help you save the relationship – while protecting yourself and your finances? Call or text the 888-ADMIT-IT Problem Gambling HelpLine for Florida and speak with a Specialist today. It is much easier to take action by putting up boundaries when you have a full understanding of what you are up against. Many HelpLine contacts attest to a totally changed perspective and renewed hope following their call!

You cannot control anyone, but you can control how you choose to live your life.

It is understandable to have anger and grief at the loss you have sustained not only financially but with the person you trusted and loved. Broken trust is not easy to fix, but it can be done. This is your life also. When someone is involved in an addiction, they are “living centrally,” meaning everything in their lives revolves around them and their addiction. They are the center of their lives, unable to take into account the amount of damage they are causing to others.

Take a look at these different areas to set up boundaries:

• Relational: Don’t lie or cover up the gambling. Don’t bail the gambler out. Don’t join them in their gambling habit. The FCCG’s A Chance for Change Self-Help Recovery Workbooks Series for Loved Ones gives you strategies to protect and repair your relationship.
• Financial: Separate bank accounts. Don’t bail the gambler out. Don’t give cash, use gift cards instead for food, etc. Set up a budget with full transparency of where the money is going. The FCCG’s A Chance for Change Workbooks Series also features a book dedicated to financial issues.
• Emotional: It is good to be supportive of the gambler if they are showing real signs of stopping, but don’t lose yourself along the way. Seek outside help and education for yourself and offer the idea for the problem gambler to do the same. Did you know that gambling addiction certified counselors specialize in helping loved ones, too? Call or text 888-ADMIT-IT today to get connected to one.

Not Sure Where to Begin? 888-ADMIT-IT

These are some of the ways to set up boundaries that will help everyone involved, but it can be overwhelming to know where to start. That’s why if you’re in Florida, the first step is to contact the 888-ADMIT-IT Problem Gambling HelpLine to grasp a full picture of how the addiction is impacting you while gaining hope for recovery through specialized resource referrals.