Living a Double Life: The Secret World of an Individual Suffering from Problem Gambling

Problem gambling is often called the “hidden addiction” because, unlike substance abuse, it leaves no physical signs that can be smelled or seen. For many, gambling begins as a form of fun and entertainment, but for those with a tendency toward addiction or escape behaviors, it can quickly spiral out of control.

At that point, it becomes a secret world, leaving individuals feeling as though they are living a double life. Many partners of individuals struggling with gambling addiction often sense something is wrong and may even suspect an affair. In reality, the affair is not with another person, but with gambling itself. Like an affair, it involves secrecy, lies, unexplained spending without receipts or accountability, and long periods of time taken away from family.

With the legalization of online and mobile gambling, it has become even more difficult to recognize when someone is gambling. Unlike in the past, when gambling required a trip to a casino or a weekend getaway, online platforms allow people to gamble anytime and anywhere. Whether standing in line at the bank, sitting at a work desk, taking a walk, or even in the bathroom, access is always just a phone away. This constant availability makes it especially challenging for partners to realize what is happening. Many families, coworkers, and friends notice changes in people who seem almost permanently attached to their phones, often assuming it’s because of Instagram or another form of social media.

With the flood of advertisements encouraging people to bet on sports online, more and more individuals are losing control and chasing their losses. Gambling often starts out as fun, but once it turns into a compulsion to win back money, it can quickly take over a person’s life. Online gambling intensifies this risk, because it allows prop bets on nearly anything during a game – even something as trivial as who will dump the Gatorade. When one game offers countless betting opportunities beyond just who wins or loses, the pace of gambling accelerates, and the likelihood of developing an addiction increases.

As gambling addiction deepens, so do the lies and financial manipulation. After exhausting savings, draining children’s school funds, or secretly refinancing a home, the addiction can take on a life of its own. At this stage, individuals may begin engaging in behaviors they never imagined – such as opening hidden bank accounts, taking out new credit cards, or even resorting to illegal activities to fund their gambling.

This is where the desperation stage hits and once the secret is out, it is devastating to all that is touched by the gambler. It can be overwhelming at this point and it may seem impossible to see how one can get out of the financial debt – let alone stop gambling further – while the addiction convinces the gambler that the next win could take care of all the financial woes.

If you or someone you love is struggling with gambling, know that you are not alone. Help and support are available through the Florida HelpLine, by calling or texting 888-ADMIT-IT. This free, confidential, and multilingual service is available 24/7, with trained specialists ready to guide you toward the first steps in recovery. Live chat and a self-assessment quiz are also available on the FCCG’s website at gamblinghelp.org.